Year: 2003

“IT’S WAR – and, thanks to round-the-clock TV news channels, you can watch it all as it happens.” (London Metro, 21st March 2003)

Hmm, when does it start? Maybe I’ll get a few beers in for that, shall I?

If there’s one thing worse than being at a war that you don’t agree with, it has to be the barely disguised glee with which some sections of the media have greeted the conflict. It’s bad enough that politicians might be using the deaths of innocent civilians in a far away country as an easy way of boosting their poll rating and preserving their place in history, but there is something truly sickening about the delight some of the press and TV stations take in reporting the war. There’s a radio ad for the Evening Standard on at the moment that boasts about the fact that they are the only paper that updates 4 times a day, so you should really buy their paper for the latest war news.

The revolution will not be televised… but the war will be covered in full glorious detail on GMTV.

“…below decks, crew in the operations room said they tracked the missiles on their radar then watched TV news to see where they would land.” (London Metro, 21st March 2003)

Today’s Metro (and I really should stop reading this appalling rag; it just depresses me, frankly) has the following quote from Brigadier Jim Dutton during a visit to the men of the 42nd Commando at Camp Gibraltar on the Iraq-Kuwait border. I think this is supposed to be a pro-war statement [On the same page is a small piece about how France and Germany export more goods to Iraq than any other country, according to a “Government report”. Really? That’s awfully convient then isn’t it?] Anyway, I think there is little doubt where the paper’s loyalties lie. You or I, however, might be able to read between the lines of this quote. The Brigadier “told Iraq”:

“Surrender as quickly as you can and allow us the chance to bring aid to your people. If Saddam is overthrown we can work together so you can realise your potential as one of the world’s richest countries.”

So this is it, I suppose. The “pre-emptive response” is about to start (or may have already done so depending on your news reporters of choice). Well we’ve had a war against an abstract noun, so why not an oxymoron? Blatant disregard for the English language aside, however, what scares me most about this imminent war is the fact that we are doing this without the backing of the United Nations.

Sure, you can argue until the cows come home whether resolution 1441 gives you technical legitimacy for a strike, but the fact remains that the majority of the international community do not support it, as evidenced by the way the push for a new resolution explicitly authorising force was unceremoniously dropped. Frankly, taking the case to the UN but then withdrawing it, pretending you had legal grounds for this pre-emptive response all along, and blaming the French, when you can’t get the result you were looking for, sets a rather worrying precedent for international relations: the United Nations is only a useful tool when it agrees with you.

What kind of a precedent does this set? Can whoever has the biggest guns just attack whoever they choose when that enemy doesn’t fit their worldview? (which certainly seems to be the – objectionable – crux of the argument in Robert Kagan’s notorious 2002 essay Power and Weakness, which argues that the US advocates military intervention in conflicts of this nature because it is militarily strong, while Europe advocates peaceful solutions and diplomacy because it is militarily weak).

Of course, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe this will all be settled quickly with an obviously evil dictator removed from power, democracy restored to a troubled country with minimal civilian casualties, ushering in a new era of peace in the Middle East.

But somehow I doubt it.

What if this is a horribly messy conflict, with many civilian deaths, that ultimately destabilises the region further, creating a breeding ground for generations of future terrorists with a grudge against the US and Britain? In fact, shouldn’t war really be an absolute last resort, used only when all the other alternatives have been explored? If the weapons inspectors want more time, shouldn’t we at least let them have it? Shouldn’t we give everything we possibly can a try before taking the decision to go to war? Should we really be rushing into a conflict when there’s a possibility that it could be avoided just because it suits the American political calendar (of for some other similar reason)?

For that matter, what happens afterwards? Does the plan for a post-war Iraq extend beyond who gets the oil fields? I suppose Claire Short is probably right to stay in the cabinet. For all the vilification she has received, at least there will be a voice of sanity helping to determine the future of post-war Iraq, and hopefully helping to prevent the potential humanitarian crisis that will face the international community when the bombers have gone home.

I received the following spam email today. My name is not John. I suspect someone has set this up to look like you have accidentally received someone else’s email about some scam to trick you into giving them your bank details. It’s rather odd getting spam that has apparently originated in the UK (note the reference to the “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” scam court case thing – nice touch). I’m so used to getting the Nigerian 419 spam that it is rather nice to get the home grown variety for a change. Oh well, straight to spam cop they go…. [UPDATE: apparently they have already been shut down, at least at that web address. Oh well, I did my bit. ]

>From: “Richard Oakley”
>To: “matthewjarmstrongAThotmail.com”
>Subject: Uploaded
>Hi John, I have made up the secrets page and uploaded to the address below. Once you are there click on the text. A new box will appear, it will take you to the First Direct website so anyone who comes accross my site won’t realise what it is. Then on the new page click on bank account then click on apply on-line (another new box appears). In the new box put in your details as though you are applying for the bank account and follow it to the end (you should put your real details in as I am sure you are aware, it is NOT legal to put false details in) then on the last page press the final submit button (the application will be sent to First Direct and you will apply for the bank account but its not a loss because they are giving £25 with each account opened anyway). Then another new box will appear and you should put in the password: “millions”. E-Mail me back when you have got it so I can delete it.
>
>With these ideas I think we’ll be making a lot by maybe even this time tomorrowe – Who wants to be a millionaire? – WE DO
>
>The address: http://www.fdct.uk2k.com/firstdirect

>Away from all that, are you up for a game of golf tomorrow, I thought we could go to Ivyleaf after work.

>Anyway, i’ll talk to you a bit more about my ideas tomorrow.

>Richard

>P.S. Nice shorts earlier – lol

I quit my job today.

It was a rather strange and oddly liberating experience actually. Suddenly everything I have stressed about for the last two and a 1/4 years at work is of absolutely no consequence (well, of course it was always inconsequential, but now I don’t have to worry about it anymore; it is well and truly somebody else’s problem). Rather bizarrely, I am still pretending that I haven’t resigned, as my boss is (ahem) “working from home” today and tomorrow and wants to tell the rest of the department first himself.

Anyway, I have spent the afternoon listening to the Commons Iraq debate on Radio 4, just to darken my otherwise sunny disposition.

This is a very interesting article about media coverage of Gulf War I. Funny thing happened to me on the way to work this morning. I was reading that Metro rag on the train (yes, I know, but the letters page is unintentionally hilarious and I try not to make a habit of it). Anyway, they described the response to Robin Cook’s resignation speech as consisting of “warm applause”. That’s funny, I was under the impression he got a highly un-Parliamentary standing ovation.

Well, I said there would be other contributors, and now there are. Disappearing text and initial teething problems aside, rob’s page is now up and running. Home to Paste Magazine’s very own “Bridget Jones” (Days since my last cigarette? c’mon….)

Doh! Radiohead tickets went on sale over the weekend but I only found out about it this morning and they are all gone now (apart from Belfast, but that is not exactly convenient).

Oh well, I’ll have to make do with seeing them at Glastonbury then I suppose.

You might argue that posting cryptic messages to the web that only you understand is a little bit self-indulgent.

Then again, I’m probably the only person reading this. So I suppose it doesn’t matter.

“There’s a voice, that keeps on calling me. Down the road, is where I’ll always be. Every stop i make, I’ll make a new friend. Can’t stay for long, just turn around and i’m gone again. Maybe tomorrow, i’ll wanna settle down, until tomorrow, i’ll just keep moving on down this road, that never seems to end, where new adventure, lies just around the bend so if you wanna join me for a while, just grab your hat, come travel light, that’s hobo style.”

Hmm. I think I’ve just made a big decision.