Now I know that the first rule of the affiliates program of a certain well-known, large international online retailer, is that you don’t talk about the affiliates program of said well-known, large international online retailer, but just this once I’m going to make an exception. I’ve been signed up to said program for a couple of years now, so that if anyone clicks on the links in the books and music lists over there on the side of this page, any purchases they subsequently choose to make will credit the paste magazine account with some small percentage of the value of the sale.

Most of the time (in what I would have assumed also to be in breach of the terms of the program, but which doesn’t actually appear to be), the only person actually doing this is me, and as such I’ve never actually received any money from it–even though my occasional purchases have sometimes included relatively pricey electronics items like my new DVD player or the odd bit of kit for my laptop, the paste account has never, ever passed the minimum amount you need to earn in a quarter. Q3 2005, I’m sure, will be no exception, but even so I was just idly checking the “items dispatched” list in the account to see what was on there. True to form, the short list is all stuff that I myself have purchased, and the total revenue earned is less than half the required amount, even though more than half of the quarter is gone. However, in amongst the list of items there’s one that I don’t remember making. Go on, own up. Which one of the small bunch of people out there who actually reads this rubbish is after “silky smooth skin for up to 4 weeks”?

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