For a couple of weeks now we’ve been planning to go and watch this year’s boat race. I was rather excited about this prospect. Not because I have any particular interest in the outcome of the event–I’ve lived in London for over 5 years now, and I’ve never bothered to see it live before, even when I lived and worked in South West London (RiverSoft’s office in Mortlake was just down the road from the end of the course, and we’d often spend lunchtimes at The Old Ship, the pub by the finish line). No, I wanted to go simply because I thought it might mean I could do something about my pathetic lack of posting around these parts of late. In fact, I’d already mentally composed half a blog about being squeezed into an overcrowded riverside pub surrounded by horrible, braying toffs.

Sadly, thanks to a little overexuberance on Sal’s part last night, she’s been, ahem, slightly ill today, and we haven’t left the house. So, I’m left with something of a dilemma: do I (a) write the blog anyway, not mentioning that we never actually went, or (b) write about not being able to write about it, in a sub-Adaptation-stylee, demonstrating my own closed, pre-formed opinions in the process? Well, although I’m sure it doesn’t make for particularly enlightening reading, obviously I opted for (b).

We watched it on TV instead. I don’t think I saw the ITV coverage last year, so I was interested to see what they’ve done with it. Generally, their approach seems to be about throwing statistics at the problem, with the commentary alternating between inane statements of the obvious and utterly dull nuggets about past races, all the while accompanied by a selection of facts running across the bottom of the screen. Stats fans eager to keep up to date on stroke rates and the post war performance of teams passing Barnes Bridge would not have been disappointed.

And whichever bright spark at the production team decided that it would be a good idea to stick a microphone in the boat, I’m not sure what you thought the viewers would get out of it, but thank you for providing my personal highlight of the race, and single handedly justifying our decision to watch at home:

Commentator: …and let’s hear what the Oxford cox is saying to his rowers.
[Cut to audio and footage of Cox shouting out the stroke rate, and then…]
Cox: C’mon boys, let’s fucking do it.

Live TV. Classic.